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๐๐จ๐ญ ๐“๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐‚๐ซ๐š๐ณ๐ฒ ๐Œ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ ๐€๐ ๐š๐ข๐ง!

Yes, I'm talking about that "crazy" mother who always wants the best for her children and who is determined to take on any challenge to meet her children's needs. If that's the case, then all mothers are crazy, right?!


But for now, let's look at why, when and for whom the term "crazy" is used more often than usual. I'm aware this is going to be a controversial blog, but I can also tell you it's a factual one.


When you become a mother, you are willing to go to extreme lengths to meet your child's needs, but when you have a child with a disability, those extreme lengths become longer, harder and nearly impossible, but you still give it your best shot.


In the process of meeting your child's needs, you have to deal with several hospital appointments, school meetings, social care review meetings, etc. The list is endless and quite boring, to be honest, but it's something you have to do. You are doing this on top of sleepless nights, no time to eat, and no time for a shower. Yes, a shower is the biggest luxury for a mum who has a child with additional needs.


Whilst trying to do this, you displease everyone around you with no fault of your own. The reason is the system is broken, and you are constantly fighting an uphill battle. On top of that, most of your family and friends don't understand your difficulties. So now, you are entirely on your own because you have upset everyone around you, but it wasn't even your fault. Before you know it, people start calling you "irrational", "paranoid", and eventually "crazy".


You are "irrational" because you want the best for your disabled child, and let's face it, this world isn't built for people with disability and neither does the majority of the world want to understand how to support disabled people.


You are called "paranoid" because you question the marks, scratches, and bruises on your child's body. Now, if a neurotypical child came home with marks & bruises on their body, there would be World War Three, but since your child is disabled, questioning this makes you a "paranoid" mother.


Since you are already "irrational" and "paranoid", you are then labelled as "crazy". Despite this, you don't give up, and you carry on, but slowly & surely, these comments start chipping away at your self-esteem and self-worth. You distance yourself from everyone as no one cares to understand your child and your predicament. Before you know it, you are completely cut off from the world and go into depression, which starts affecting your health and your child's wellbeing. When this happens, people say, "See, we told you she is crazy; look at her; she is popping anti-depressants."


Can you see the vicious cycle here? Can you see how a mother who was able to take on anything is now on anti-depressants and isn't able to look after her children properly? Can you see how society has played a negative part in isolating this mother?

Let's face it: If a man were questioning the marks and bruises, he would be praised for being the best dad, and everyone would listen to him. But because a woman is in question here, everyone quickly jumps to conclusions and labels her.

The above is just the tip of the iceberg. Judgements and discriminations against women and mums are so deeply rooted in our society that we don't even realise how traumatising our words and actions are for the other person.


So, what can you do to avoid such injustice? What can you do to play your part to support the most vulnerable? Ask yourself this question and think about it.


In most circumstances, kindness goes a long way. If you physically cannot help anyone in need, please don't judge them and always be kind! After all, as humans, that's the least we can do.

So, when you come across a mother, especially one with a child with additional needs, leave your preconceived ideas behind and listen to what she has to say.

Since my controversial blog has upset most of the world, I'll be hiding for a while (ha-ha). Next month, I will return with a poem that complements this blog.

Until then, stay safe, stay blessed and check out the support we provide by clicking the link below.

368 views2 comments


Samra S
Samra S

People who give up their own desires and needs for the sake of intense love are also called โ€˜โ€™crazyโ€™. When in actual fact, theyโ€™re the ones who are the most awake in this crazy world. Your openness and vulnerability shows who you are at your core as a mother - someone who has been deeply touched by her children and what is happening around them.

God bless you and all the parents who go to such lengths for the children with disabilities.

I say, if they call you crazy, youโ€™re doing something right. ๐Ÿค


Hi Samra,

I hope this message finds you well. Thanks you so much for taking the time to read the blog and also for your kind and thoughtful comment. It's very refreshing to meet (virtually for now) people like you who understand disability and how it affects them and their loved ones.

Thank you once again!! Please feel free to read the other blogs too and signpost those who would benefit from our services.

Wishing you a wonderful day ahead!

Many thanks,

Faria Arsh

Autism Foundation

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