๐ ๐ซ๐จ๐ฆ ๐๐๐ญ๐ญ๐ฅ๐๐๐ข๐๐ฅ๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ข๐ฏ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐จ๐จ๐ฆ: ๐๐ฌ ๐๐ฎ๐ญ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐๐๐ซ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐๐๐ฅ๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐๐๐ญ?
- Faria Arsh
- Aug 25
- 3 min read
โHang on a second, what is Faria coming up with now?โ - Is this what you thought when you read the title? Be honest? Haha...
Letโs dig deep before I get distracted and start a new blog without finishing this one (since I have 4 unfinished blogs in my folder ๐).
I kept seeing reels about this theory, but didnโt want to believe it until I found a quantitative research paper. After some searching, I found a study initially published in 2009 by Marsha Mailick Seltzer and colleagues, titled "Maternal Cortisol Levels and Behaviour Problems in Adolescents and Adults with ASD", published in the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders. There have been subsequent studies after this study was published, but letโs focus on this topic for now and simplify it for everyone. Iโve also attached a few links for your satisfaction.
This study measured physiological stress markers (specifically cortisol) in mothers of autistic adolescents and compared those levels against those of other highly stressed groups. The findings indicated that mothers of autistic adolescents with significant behavioural challenges displayed stress hormone levels comparable to those seen in combat soldiers, parents of children with cancer, and even Holocaust survivors, not just psychologically, but physiologically as well.
The above is a simplified version. The entire research paper is quite interesting, so please do read it.
Being a mother of a severely autistic young adult (and yes, letโs talk about severe/profound autism in another blog), can I relate to the above study? The answer is โyesโ. Perhaps not at this given moment, as we have come a long way in the past 6/7 years, but during the peak of Afiyahโs challenging behaviours (which lasted for 2-3 years or longer), I can certainly relate to this.
This study is quite specific and it narrows down to a group of people on the autism spectrum who display challenging behaviours - this applies to all autistic people who display challenging behaviour regardless of where they fall on the spectrum (level 1, 2 or 3).
What Iโve shared on my socials about Afiyahโs behaviour so far is only the tip of the iceberg. I remember spending each moment in fear of the next behaviour. One behaviour and severe self-harming episodes would finally end after hours, and within the next 5 minutes, the beginning of the next behaviour would start.
I remember falling asleep, dreading what I would wake up to next, and not knowing how many hours of sleep I would get or when I would get a chance to eat a meal (uncertain hours of sleep still apply). The constant fear of the next challenging behaviour, self-injuries of your child, broken walls and windows is something no one plans to experience. Still, parents of autistic children with challenging behaviours experience this daily and several times a day.
No wonder the cortisol levels are comparable to those of combat soldiers. A combat soldier is always alert, fearing the worst but keeping a brave face. Iโll leave the rest to your imagination.
So, when people ask me how I have come so far with Afiyahโs challenging behaviours, my answer is patience, perseverance, and hard work. Against all odds, we have come this far. I know itโs quite a big statement, but it's true.
I was fortunate to work at an outstanding special school, where I gained valuable experience working with a diverse range of pupils. That was just the beginning. I used that knowledge and expertise to develop my protocol for challenging behaviours. I created a step-by-step method to analyse each behaviour, break it down to its core, and develop a strategic plan. Extreme circumstances require extreme measures, and my extreme measures are full of compassion, understanding, and love, with easy-to-follow and implementable behavioural strategies. This would not have been possible if it hadnโt been for love and my knowledge. I combined the two and created a method that works wonders.
If youโd like to learn the tried and tested strategies I used to overcome the most challenging times, click here and change lives forever! This training is accessible to parents, carers, professionals, and organisations.
Hope those reading this blog understand the severity of the conditions people like me and our autistic children are living under. All we ask is for some understanding, patience and respect. Now you might understand why parents like me canโt sustain a 9-5 job, why we may need more support than others, and why we canโt entertain guests or respond to messages in time.
Until next time, my beautiful readers (not sure when this โnext timeโ will be ๐). Stay safe and stay blessed ๐คโค๏ธ
Reference:
PS - The following photos show some destruction resulting from challenging behaviours.
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